January 9, 2025

Navigating The Waves Of Grief and Loss – Understanding The Process

Though grief is a universal experience, the emotions it awakens are personal.

Grief is the price you pay for love.

The only reason it hurts so much is because you loved so deeply.

To navigate grief, you need patience, and you also need understanding, support, and perhaps guidance.

The Process of Grief

The first understanding you have to embrace is that grief is not linear. Grief comes in waves, coming in ebbs and flows just like the tide. This is reflected in the stages of grief, the touchstones you will hit on as you process your grief. These aren't steps to hit and move on from, you may revisit them in the course of healing.

You may cycle between denial and anger before you reach any other part of the process. You may even skip certain steps altogether and come back to them later. Everyone experiences grief differently.

Regardless, you will gradually come to terms with loss. You will reach a point where you realize that your loss is real and that it is permanent. This is what paves the way for healing because you can't start healing until you accept the reality of your loss. This isn't about forgetting, you don't ever need to forget your loved one. It's acknowledging that you have entered a new reality created by your loss.

It's a New Normal

Navigating grief means learning how to move forward with your new normal. You don't wash your hands of love, you find a way to keep going while still remembering your loss and respecting the person who has passed on. This wave of grief is about finding new meanings in your routine and reorganizing your life to adjust to a new normal and accept the changes.

Loss is transformative.

As frustrating as it is, there's a benefit to finding meaning in your suffering. Make no mistake, grief is suffering. Death has separated you from someone you love. Of course, it's suffering and trying to rush yourself through the process, you're only building a dam to hold back the wave that's threatening to crash. If you don't process your emotions, the dam will break, and the wave will crash down on you eventually. It's the suffering that can help you find a new sense of purpose.

Don't Weather It Alone

One of the most important things to remember about the grieving process is that you're not alone. Not only did other people also lose this person, but you have people who love you and want to support you through the healing journey.

You can heal together, offering each other comfort and understanding, but also, sharing stories and connecting over your shared love of the departed. Beyond that, you can work with a grief counselor if you're struggling with processing your grief.

It's worth remembering that the digital age offers you plenty of options for finding support and community if you feel misunderstood. You can share stories of your grief process, share insights with other people going through similar grief, and support each other in a safe space online.

As you journey through grief, you will deal with a range of emotions. Grief will come in waves, and you can't put a timeline on it and there is no one way or right way to grieve.

Don't let other people push you into speeding up the process or ignoring your emotions as they come.

Don't let anyone guilt you into thinking you should be over it or further along in the process. This journey is uniquely yours. As long as you're processing your grief, you're on the right path.

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If you liked this article, check out my Substack Newsletter piece entitled, "Moving On After Loss - 10 Myths and Facts. "